Pans/Pandas, sleep, weight

Up all night…

Seems like it. Actually Chris has quieted down so I hope to go to sleep SOON. I was up late last night with him and then overslept this morning and he missed his bus. Ended up taking him to the dr. – another sinus infection. It goes together – the sleeplessness and the sinus infections. We are so weary – we hope this new thing works – giving him antibiotics for 4 weeks instead of 2.

For some reason at night I’ve been reading about anorexia. I think I stumbled across something surfing Live Journal sites (think that’s where it was?) and then just started reading about it. It’s amazing what the mind can do in a person. I never had anorexia or bulimia but did get to the bingeing state. I always would binge before I started diets, ever since I was like 10 years old. I would pick a date to start dieting and right before it I’d eat huge quantities to “get it out of my system.” I have done this to this day.

In ’99 I joined a diet system called “Weigh Down” and I followed through my pregnancy and nursing as well. It really changed my outlook a lot. It is based on just eating when hungry and stopping before full. However, after that I kind of drifted away from it (as the program developed some spiritual inconsistencies and a lot of churches dropped the plan, and I got disappointed in the whole thing and just didn’t do it anymore). I really got slowly but steadily back into the diet and then binge thing. So Jan. 20 I started following the basic hunger/fullness principles again and am down 4 pounds. It is so liberating – I can eat what I want, as long as I’m hungry, and I stop when I feel satisfied (not full!) and wait for hunger to eat again. And it’s funny, after reading these anorexia/bulimia sites, I can see where a plan like this would be a help to those people too after they have maybe talked to someone about their low self esteem issues.

I think I’m actually going to attempt to go to bed… hopefully!


Edit, Feb. 2020.  As I am rereading this blog and have my Pans/Pandas suspicions for Ryan, I note this about Chris having this sinus infection, and possibly having Pans (he had a psychiatric breakdown shortly after this).  The clues you see years later….