Comments: Ryan’s been kicked out of day care. I’m kinda devastated about it. He can try this other day care at the multi-handicapped school that the owner also runs – she is recommending it and will waive half the fee (since that center is not ELI (Early Learning Initiative) it is not free), but it’s just the principal of the thing – my son is not able to fit into a typical classroom. It’s just the whole future outlook – special classes, again, what about kindergarten, what about elementary school – are we in for it again, MRDD, autism class, what is going to happen here – I just am grieving, I guess. I cried all the way home from picking him up – I just feel I’ve lost something. Why can’t I have had just one child that is totally typical?
But, he is going to get this case study therapy in our home starting last month. That is a blessing. And he he has his special needs preschool he’s been in 1 1/2 years – that starts next week.
Just needed to share – more later. d —- I know I have posts to answer and posts to read as well, but right now I’m burying my grief in a Taco Bell Chalupa meal.
Time: Tuesday, 8/29/2006 11:40:50 AM (#83634)
Comments: You know what else gets me about this – I really walked into this with my eyes wide open. I planned to have Ryan. I knew Chris was autistic. I knew Colleen had special needs. I didn’t get the genetic testing because I knew autism wasn’t able to be found through that. I was told it was a 5% chance by our doctors and the internet that we’d have another autistic child. I kept saying there’s a 95% chance he’ll be okay. Maybe those odds were too great to chance. I don’t know. He’s not officially diagnosed yet with autism, but the neuro is looking at it as I told you, PDD. 5% chance — I just wonder if that is really correct.
Comments: FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1> Orange Julius counter clerk
2> word processor for metallurgy company
3> legal secretary
4> home transcriptionist
FOUR MOVIES YOU WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1> Pretty in Pink
2> Sixteen Candles
3> Because of Winn-Dixie
4> Dirty Dancing
In 1993 our world completely changed. Our first child was born in 1990 and everything was really pretty wonderful. There is a link here that partially describes those years, and also partially describes his early schooling. But we were content, with the usual new fairly young working parents’ problems – we wanted to buy a house, we wanted to get our bills paid off, and set up a nice retirement. Our goals for Chris and our future children were to be well adjusted, happy, healthy, and generous working individuals with creativity, goals, and a love of Christ.
This entry and a few following from my hand-written journal from 1994 shows were our lives deviated from this path:
10-20-94. Chris will be 4 in a month. Colleen will be 5 mos. in 9 days. Chris is doing good at school. He says 47 words. But none at school. He carries his bookbag into school which he wouldn’t do last year. He’s doing better with pitching, tantrums. He waves his hands a lot. But I had some nervous habits when I was little. I rubbed my fingers on my mouth. I love how he snuggles with me with a book, or a shiny bowl. He likes the reflections, and the banging (no-no!). He’s really good on the organ. He draws circles and lines and drew a “C.” And he played “Here’s the Church” finger game today.
Colleen rolled over on or right before her 4 mo. birthday. She rolled from back to front. Now she does it all the time but can’t get back over and gets mad! She’s napping now. She fell asleep on her tummy for the first time. She’s breastfeeding well – no food yet. More and more she’s feeding for just 4x a day. She smiles real wide and giggles and shrieks. She blows raspberries. She likes her walker now for a while. Is entranced with the “Happy Days” radio, weeble, star rattle.
We’re still looking for other employment. Praise God for another miracle – since the last time I wrote and said that Roger quit his night job, right after that he looked in the paper and saw the XX was hiring. He got his old job back at XX! And today I got a lead form Laura that Jim was leaving the office and may need a part-time transcriptionist. I spoke with him and he’s going to let me know. I hope so!
but have my little boy on me. he luvs me – he’s so cute. i’m typing w/ one hand. he’s my snuggly 4-yr old. he’s sweet. i love him so much.
but was just in mood to clean a lot, post a lot, and be very productive because i’m done w/ typing after typing 3 days straight. i will be starting typing again tomorrow.
it’s too hard to keep typing 1 handed….
dori the slightly (more than) touched-out mama….
working now, but …
went to the neuro, and he thinks Ryan may have PDD. Even with knowing it could happen, I still feel like I got kicked in the stomach.
I know it’s not a death sentence, but….
ugh. I really thought he was doing well and I don’t think he DOESN’T think Ryan is doing well, but just that by 4 1/2 we should be hearing some talking in sentences, etc. I guess I just was hoping the hearing loss was the total cause of the speech delay, and that there was no autism spectrum at all.
I’ve invited several of you to view our new blog, and thank you for visiting. We have a purpose here to share our story, and network with others, give some help, and perhaps receive some helpful information ourselves. I will try and write every week or so, and give the story of Christopher, Ryan, and Colleen, and hope that everyone enjoys reading and sharing. Please comment and I’ll try and comment back. I hope this is an enjoyable place for both family and friends, as well as a helpful site for the community. I hope to build an extensive page of links to help others just beginning on the road to special needs, or in the middle, or anywhere on their journeys.
Special prayers and thoughts to you allâ€¦. blessings, dori