autism, life

The beginning of the beginning

In 1993 our world completely changed. Our first child was born in 1990 and everything was really pretty wonderful. There is a link here that partially describes those years, and also partially describes his early schooling. But we were content, with the usual new fairly young working parents’ problems – we wanted to buy a house, we wanted to get our bills paid off, and set up a nice retirement. Our goals for Chris and our future children were to be well adjusted, happy, healthy, and generous working individuals with creativity, goals, and a love of Christ.

This entry and a few following from my hand-written journal from 1994 shows were our lives deviated from this path:

10-20-94. Chris will be 4 in a month. Colleen will be 5 mos. in 9 days. Chris is doing good at school. He says 47 words. But none at school. He carries his bookbag into school which he wouldn’t do last year. He’s doing better with pitching, tantrums. He waves his hands a lot. But I had some nervous habits when I was little. I rubbed my fingers on my mouth. I love how he snuggles with me with a book, or a shiny bowl. He likes the reflections, and the banging (no-no!). He’s really good on the organ. He draws circles and lines and drew a “C.” And he played “Here’s the Church” finger game today.

Colleen rolled over on or right before her 4 mo. birthday. She rolled from back to front. Now she does it all the time but can’t get back over and gets mad! She’s napping now. She fell asleep on her tummy for the first time. She’s breastfeeding well – no food yet. More and more she’s feeding for just 4x a day. She smiles real wide and giggles and shrieks. She blows raspberries. She likes her walker now for a while. Is entranced with the “Happy Days” radio, weeble, star rattle.

We’re still looking for other employment. Praise God for another miracle – since the last time I wrote and said that Roger quit his night job, right after that he looked in the paper and saw the XX was hiring. He got his old job back at XX! And today I got a lead form Laura that Jim was leaving the office and may need a part-time transcriptionist. I spoke with him and he’s going to let me know. I hope so!

November 19, 1994. Tomorrow is Christopher’s birthday. 4 years old! He’s got a double ear infection but is now getting better. He’s been sleeping in the day time and stays up until 12-1:00 a.m. or gets up at 6:30 a.m. I have laryngitis is and can’t speak at all! Hopefully we’ll feel better by Thanksgiving – in five days. That’s when we’re celebrating Chris’ birthday.

Dr. XX wants to have Chris evaluated for autism. Hopefully it will be ruled out. He’s really a sweet little boy. We’re praying for him daily. I know God can perform a miracle.

November 20, 1994. It really hurts sometimes when we worry that something is really wrong, that our son can’t speak. Also that he’s often seeming not to understand us, although when it’s something he really wants to do he understands perfectly (bath). I’m worried we’re focusing on things that may just be nervous habits – grimacing, playing with his fingers (Itsy Bitsy Spider?), looking at bowls and pop bottles. He snuggles, smiles, figures things out (like loading dishwasher), being affectionate to baby Colleen. We DO have the promise that God will not give us more than we can bear. It seems we’ve had enough trials this past 18 mos. to last a lifetime. But here have been blessings among the trials.

TRIALS:

    • Couldn’t sell trailer. Paying house payment and trailer payment.
    • Roger’s car broke down in West Virginia – $2,300 in credit cards. Now I wonder if we truly prayed enough about that decision to go that much in debt. We really didn’t pray for an alternate, that wasn’t obvious at that time.
    • My car needed about $900 in repairs.
    • Chris beat up – stopped talking. Angry tantrums. Brain damage? We blame ourselves for this because we left him with XX for the evening – 14 years old.
    • Work not using me for home typing as I expected, they didn’t need me Fridays either.
    • Rog not finding one very productive job; having to work two jobs still.

BLESSINGS.

  • Sold trailer on St. Patrick’s Day, within days of the tenant’s eviction (miracle, guy called US to buy!)
  • Both our cars are paid off and still running. If mine breaks down I don’t HAVE to go to work. One problem would be getting Chris to school, but Gayle and Chuck help a lot.
  • Chris regained over 50 words. Has decreased “autistic” behavior. Snuggles, talks babble, affectionate to sister.
  • I was able to do newspaper and this temporary job for XX 13 1/2 hour so far typing) and another temp typing job in February. And there’s still people interested in our Amway that I never got books to for Christmas orders. And I may do Cookin’ again in May. And typing business.
  • There’s still leads to some jobs for Rog – we just have to follow up on them.
  • We have paid our bills.

 

(2020 – interesting – don’t know if I ever finished this post series.  Would be worth checking….   I am so glad I have the old diaries.  What to do with them though, to give others any kind of guidance as they are looking at their children, wondering if there is anything they should be checking up on, how to see things going on that they should worry about etc.  Although we all have our own journeys and ways of looking at things and doing things…. I don’t know.  I know there’s a purpose – don’t always know what it is, though….

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