colleen, writing

question on kids’ blogs

If you were a mom of an 11 1/2 year old girl, would you let her have a blog on here? Set to friends only and only her friends you know? Set with your email as the default email?

That’s what I’m thinking of doing, and I think she’ll be safe that way, but wondered what you all thought? I can put a private journal flag on the intro page so strangers wouldn’t be email her to try and read it, but could make the entries friends only so that her friends in real life could read and comment. I thought she could post her animal pictures in photobucket to share.

What do you think? Any stories (horror or otherwise)?


life, transcription, work at home, writing


Thanks, Heather, for alerting me to this —

check this out, guys

Check that out.. put in your addy + it’ll show you a map of where the sex offenders are near you. Click on one of the red boxes (offenders) + it’ll tell you their name, what they look like, what they did + when.”

And, am I the only idiot that forgets for entries on end to put “friends” only? I just changed like 10 entries from public to friends. I’m going to have to see if there’s a default for that…..

(2020 obviously above is a reference to LiveJournal — this was a friends-only blog on there.  I actually had to delete a lot of stuff to make this a public blog….)

dori, who’s proud to say she typed 2/3 of a CD at 6:00 a.m…..

autism, chris, deafness, writing

A poem —


Wow, I just found this poem as I was packing and sorting notebooks in my laundry room. I wrote this 8/26/90, just 3 months before Chris was born.

curled up tight
in a cocoon
hug the branch
call it home
afraid to fall
out of the shell
to unknown

can the cocoon
stay home
safe inside me?
what would this
safety bring?

dh 8/26/90

That really struck me – my 14 year old Chris, still in his cocoon, of autism, and deafness


autism, Pans/Pandas, residency, writing


2020 – it has been heartbreaking to re-read all this.  One of the hardest times of our lives — 2003-2004, as well as 93-94, 97-98, 2010, 2016-2019.  Autism, deafness, and this possible Pans/Pandas disorder…. so much heartbreak.  So grateful Chris (and Ryan) are doing better now.  Here Chris had to wear a helmet as he was hitting his head on all surfaces….  that lasted a few months.  

Comments: a poem about Chris, it’s been a while.

Felt good to write something. I think I got a lot out this way.

to say goodbye to you would be so sad
the child of my youth
all my life I dreamt of your arrival
it made my heart so glad

we waited years for you
you were born and we clung to you so tight
checked you in the night, looking for your breath
we were so careful to do everything just right

our firstborn son, you began to slip away
we didn’t notice at first, just thought you were shy
or quiet or the deep intelligent type
when you ceased your speech at 2 I thought I’d die.

to see you hurt yourself, the precious skin and self
that formed inside of me, then was born
is catastrophic and deadening, the greatest tragedy
of our lives, the event we always mourn

more than autism itself, the pain, the violence
that you would be in such pain,
the sound of fear is perhaps worse than just the silence
that we would hear if you were just happy but quiet, playing in the rain

like you used to do out in the pool, when you were five
the rain beat down but you were happy with your symphony
of bubbles that rose above you like a crown.
you always loved the pool, the bath, the river, more than any pony

that any other boy would like
we were sad at your difference at times but loved to watch you smile
and now to hear your laugh instead of your cry
would answer our prayers, at least for a while.

The whole family needs to be kept safe and strong
whatever it takes to help you all grow
and to also keep the girl and little boy growing up in health
I pray an answer comes soon, that we will know.

It wouldn’t really be goodbye, if it comes to a new home
it would be a place that could help you thrive
in your own way, in your own time
if that is the decision that is to arrive.

We would still see you often and love you so much
though of course we hope the answer is that you stay
whatever happens I know that the Lord is with us
And will give us strength to face each day.

@dh 7/5/04


autism, college, organizing, sleep, surveys, writing

Something’s missing, don’t know what. Some cool surveys, though.

I just want to do something different but don’t know what. I’m happy, but… oh, I don’t know. I love my kids, my husband. I love being a stay at home mom. But my dreams of school seem to be on hold again. It’s so hard. I know my kids come first. Here’s some postings from my moms group which just say more about all that

User: dori

Comments: I’m going to try and STOP talking about my decision stuff SO much after this because I think you’re all getting sick of it. But I need to just reply a bit more to stuff from the past few days. THEN I’LL STOP so you don’t kill me :P. So I’ll try and keep it short and first will just update you on the present.

Continue reading “Something’s missing, don’t know what. Some cool surveys, though.”

adhd, organizing, writing

thoughts on juggling…

Had another interesting session with my now weekly doc I’m seeing re: My ADD. He’s doing IQ tests with me. The math word problems were very hard for me! He said that I did way above average on them but that it took me excessively longer than normal to perform the calculations. And he said this was very normal for an ADD person. I will continue the testing next time. I also had been told (don’t think I posted this?) that I have a problem in my working memory, that showed upon the IQ tests, that I have a good short term memory except for the part that involves organization and working with what I’ve learned. Thus, the problem I have with organization and multi-tasking. It’s amazing how these tests can show all that!!

So, we talked about the book I wrote in high school, that I want to complete but was flabbergasted that I haven’t worked on since 1996! We talked about all the irons I have had in the fire, and always have had in the fire. My nick in high school (my initials then were D.E.) was Doing Everything, in the class nickname list. They should have added, doing everything but not getting any of them done!!!

So, when I try to juggle all these balls I can’t control them and they come crashing down. That’s what happened, when I lost my job and lost control of my home organization, etc. So now I’m learning to juggle from scratch. One ball, then maybe two. Not twelve.

He was proud of me that I’m on a daily cleaning schedule now, and that I’m not adding 100 new things to my list. I would like to pick something eventually to add — my book, or extra guitar practice, or something. But right now I’m not sure what!!!

Well, off for that cleaning schedule (did half my household tasks today).





test on semagic…

Set up live journal for dh too as he was mentioning he wanted to do some blogging about our autistic son, etc. We all need to express ourselves some way—- I know I need to do this myself and it would really help me to get my emotions out