Month: May 2011

birthdays, chris, colleen, speech delay

17 years ago – Colleen’s birth

criscollrj

colleenbaby

 

Yes, another birthday today!  Amazing how fast it all goes.

 

Was just reviewing some entries from my journal from back then – actually 5-12-94:

 

“First things first, I’m 2 cm dilated (as of last Friday) and am working only one more week.  I’m ready to enjoy this summer off with my children.  It will be beautiful.  I know I will be tired and frustrated sometimes, with a new baby, more work, less sleep, Chris’s reaction, Chris’s speech delay, worry over finances.  Financially we are feeling pretty secure right now, but I have only eight more weeks of pay coming.  We must be very careful.  We’ve not charged anything since February/March except for my car repair.

“We are praying earnestly for Chris’s speech.  He still adds another word (some of past, some new) every one to two weeks.  But it’s trying how slow it goes.  He said “baby” at school yesterday, but didn’t say anything today.  I will list in a little while all his words as of now.  Praise God for them!  In January he had none.  Here are his words:

“January – present, 35 words:  Bye-bye, hi, waffle, see ya later, all done, night night, no, juice, come here, Ma Ma, Pa Pa, Mommy, Daddy, Baby, Bear, Big Bird, lay down, sit down, ears, nose, shoes, socks, binky, hot, cold, yogurt, ice cream, truck, up, binky night-night, car seat, thank you, cracker, horn, beep beep,

“Plus, one time he said to mama, “Now, where did they go?”  Now we ache to hear him speak several words daily, and to answer questions, and ask for things by name.  The words now are random and to himself, not as a real conversation with us.  We are grateful for the words, but pray for their increased purposeful use, and frequency.  Sometimes, especially when Chris has been quiet a lot and/or throwing things (today).  I cry for a while, a fear comes over me that he will never speak and communicate normally.  It is a scary feeling. . . . I have to face these fears, cry over them, then put them at Jesus’ feet and leave them there.  If this is what is willed by God (permanent disability) we must face it day by day through prayer anyway, so we will do that through this period of not knowing.

“Chris will be attending preschool for two more weeks, then we’ll be off for two weeks (with me and baby!) then will attend a Friday preschool for six weeks, then a gross motor movement class two days a week  for four weeks mid-July –> August.  This will be good for him – still a “summer break” from going four days a week, but something to keep him learning and occupied one to two days a week for a few hours (and give me a nap period!)

“The Lord really had worked some miracles – he is great and holy and is taking care of us, and we have a beautiful family:  a beautiful loving son Chris and a coming treasure of a baby (boy? girl?) and a wonderful husband (who I wish I could see more).

“I need to get this house organized and check over budget tonight and it’s 7:30!  I also need to make dinner!  I just spent the evening playing with my Chris and writing in here.  Chris and I played color matching, play dough (creepy bugs game!) and snuggled.  After dinner I will get him in bed 8:30 – 9:00 and start straightening.

“I dream of getting this house beautiful and organized!  Will take years.  Yard too!  Gotta make dinner.  The next time I write there will be probably ‘a waah!  a waah!’”

So similar, yet so different – 17 years ago!

 

autism, God, life

About running –

criscollrj

As the spring arrives, I have been thinking about running in various ways.

  • I have used it as a thing to worry about – as spring comes every year, the boys would get more boisterous about escaping the house and running off (or in Chris’s case, usually walking very fast).  As far as I’ve heard, Chris has not started yet this year with this; and here Ryan has not either.  But last year, it was very difficult with both boys, with both households having installations of backwards locks where we need keys on the inside to let anyone out!  This has not happened at all yet this year, but we wonder when it’s going to occur.  We are hoping and praying by this time the boys will be able to communicate by words or icons that they wish to go somewhere consistently and not feel they have to “escape”!
  • In Ryan’s case, I am praying when we go to the park this spring (whenever it dries out enough!) that he will not run away from us in the parking lots like he did last year, not that we didn’t hold his hand, but he did it in a different way, just suddenly taking off from the middle of the playground where he had been swinging or climbing, as a game where he would want us to chase him suddenly, but in a dangerous way, usually ending up in the street or parking lot.
  • In a different vein, with all the challenges we have been having, sometimes my (and all of our) thoughts can lead to wanting to just run away, run fast, run far, to a place where there aren’t quite this many challenges, where people think clearly and act rationally all the time, and there is no more pain and sickness, and sleep is sound and not interrupted, and – wow, sounds a lot like the heaven we’re waiting for, doesn’t it?  Yes.
  • Then of course running reminds me of exercise, and how little of it I’m getting at this point – lol!  Time to get the Wii fit going now that I’m done with school in a week, and only going online for summer.  Time for the whole family to start getting fit –not necessarily running, but walking, indoor cycling, calisthenics, et cetera!
  • And finally – 1 Corinthians 9:24 – “24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

Lots to ponder as spring gets into full swing, my winter/spring semester is almost over, the kids’ school is winding down, Roger is healing in his body and preparing for when he will return to work, and I look forward to a break and time to get my house (and mind!) organized, and start a new semester.  May I not be so close-,minded with school and duty that I forget including time for us to enjoy the summer weather, playing outside in safe areas, and also making sure I take time to have devotionals, prayer time, and, yes, exercise.

 

Happy spring!  (this is last year, but they’re already budding now!)

 

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