Yes, another birthday today! Amazing how fast it all goes.
Was just reviewing some entries from my journal from back then – actually 5-12-94:
“First things first, I’m 2 cm dilated (as of last Friday) and am working only one more week. I’m ready to enjoy this summer off with my children. It will be beautiful. I know I will be tired and frustrated sometimes, with a new baby, more work, less sleep, Chris’s reaction, Chris’s speech delay, worry over finances. Financially we are feeling pretty secure right now, but I have only eight more weeks of pay coming. We must be very careful. We’ve not charged anything since February/March except for my car repair.
“We are praying earnestly for Chris’s speech. He still adds another word (some of past, some new) every one to two weeks. But it’s trying how slow it goes. He said “baby” at school yesterday, but didn’t say anything today. I will list in a little while all his words as of now. Praise God for them! In January he had none. Here are his words:
“January – present, 35 words: Bye-bye, hi, waffle, see ya later, all done, night night, no, juice, come here, Ma Ma, Pa Pa, Mommy, Daddy, Baby, Bear, Big Bird, lay down, sit down, ears, nose, shoes, socks, binky, hot, cold, yogurt, ice cream, truck, up, binky night-night, car seat, thank you, cracker, horn, beep beep,
“Plus, one time he said to mama, “Now, where did they go?” Now we ache to hear him speak several words daily, and to answer questions, and ask for things by name. The words now are random and to himself, not as a real conversation with us. We are grateful for the words, but pray for their increased purposeful use, and frequency. Sometimes, especially when Chris has been quiet a lot and/or throwing things (today). I cry for a while, a fear comes over me that he will never speak and communicate normally. It is a scary feeling. . . . I have to face these fears, cry over them, then put them at Jesus’ feet and leave them there. If this is what is willed by God (permanent disability) we must face it day by day through prayer anyway, so we will do that through this period of not knowing.
“Chris will be attending preschool for two more weeks, then we’ll be off for two weeks (with me and baby!) then will attend a Friday preschool for six weeks, then a gross motor movement class two days a week for four weeks mid-July –> August. This will be good for him – still a “summer break” from going four days a week, but something to keep him learning and occupied one to two days a week for a few hours (and give me a nap period!)
“The Lord really had worked some miracles – he is great and holy and is taking care of us, and we have a beautiful family: a beautiful loving son Chris and a coming treasure of a baby (boy? girl?) and a wonderful husband (who I wish I could see more).
“I need to get this house organized and check over budget tonight and it’s 7:30! I also need to make dinner! I just spent the evening playing with my Chris and writing in here. Chris and I played color matching, play dough (creepy bugs game!) and snuggled. After dinner I will get him in bed 8:30 – 9:00 and start straightening.
“I dream of getting this house beautiful and organized! Will take years. Yard too! Gotta make dinner. The next time I write there will be probably ‘a waah! a waah!’”
So similar, yet so different – 17 years ago!