autism, birthdays, chris, colleen

18 years ago —

With Colleen’s birthday coming up on Tuesday I felt like posting some publishable parts of my old diary, from 5-12-94. Hard to believe it’s been 18 years.

Work told me I’m definitely getting my three-week vacation pay, three-week sick leave, and they want me to do tapes at home. I also may be able to go in and work some mornings and my mom may be able to watch kids on Fridays if I need to work.

First things first, I’m 2 cm. dilated (as of last Friday) and am working only one more week. I’m ready to enjoy this summer off with my children. It will be beautiful. I know I will be tired and frustrated sometimes, with a new baby, more work, less sleep, Chris’s reaction, Chris’s speech delay, worry over finances. Financially we are pretty secure right now but I only have eight more weeks of pay coming.


(2020 – part of this I see I entered in 2011 for Colleen’s 17th birthday — was going to delete the duplication but will just leave here for “flow….”  never would have caught it if I wasn’t reviewing this entire blog….. <3  )

“We are praying earnestly for Chris’s speech. He still adds another word (some of past, some new) every one to two weeks. But it’s trying how slow it goes. He said “baby” at school yesterday but didn’t say anything today. I will list in a little while all his words as of now. Praise God for them! In January he had none. Here are his words, January – present: 35 words:
bye-bye, come here, lay down, cold, hi, mama, sit down, yogurt, waffle, papa, ears, ice cream, see ya later, mommy, daddy, nose, up, all done, shoes, binky night-night, night-night, baby, socks, thank you, cracker, no, juice, bear, Big bird, binky, hot, horn, beep beep. Plus one time he said to mama, “Now where did they go?” Now, we ache to hear him speak several words daily, and to answer questions, and ask for things by name. The words now are random and to himself, not as a real conversation with us. We are grateful for the words, but pray for their increased purposeful use, and frequency. Sometimes, especially when Chris has been quiet a lot and/or throwing things (today) I cry for a while, a fear comes over me that he will never speak and communicate normally. It is a scary feeling. Then I feel if that is true, it may be permanent damage. I have to face these fears, cry over them, then put them at Jesus’ feet and leave them there. If this is what is willed by God (permanent disability) we must face it day by day through prayer anyway, so we will do that through this period of not knowing.

Chris will be attending preschool for two more weeks, then will be off for two weeks (with me and baby!) then will attend a Friday preschool for six weeks, then a gross motor movement class two days a week for four weeks mid July-August. This will be good for him and still a “summer break” from going four days a week, but something to keep him learning and occupied one to two days a week for a few hours (and give me a nap period!).

The Lord has really worked some miracles — He is great and holy and is taking care of us. And we have a beautiful family: a beautiful loving son Chris, and a coming treasure of a baby (boy? girl?) and a wonderful husband ( who I wish I could see more!)

I just spent the evening playing with my Chris and writing in here. Chris and I played color matching, play daugh (creepy bugs!), and snuggled. After dinner I will get him in bed 8:30 – 9:00 and start straightening.

The next time I write in here there will probably be “A-wah! A-wah!”


Our baby girl arrived on 5-29-94. Colleen Renee. She is nursing right now. Chris is here for his first full day and night with us. Colleen is 5 1/2 days old.


Colleen is doing great! Sleeps usually six hours straight at night, feeds 5-6 times a day. Just started smiling! Up all day, just catnaps 1/2 hour – 45 minutes a few times a day. Chris is doing okay. Asked for bath by name yesterday! He ignores Colleen for the most part. Patted her a few times. Laughs when she cries real loud! Tries to get me up to get him things sometimes while I’m nursing. It’s hard not having as much time to play with him but I try and talk to him a lot when I can’t stop and sit with him, or I sit for five minutes and play with him. We go outside often and he plays in pool and on swings. Colleen goes out in her seat. Usual “at-home” schedule:

5-6 – first day feeding in rocker in Colleen’s room. Back to sleep.

8-9 – Chris up. I sleep heavy and usually don’t wake up until he makes a lot of noise in his room

9-10 – “breakfast” feeding, usually at kitchen table while we all eat breakfast.


That’s enough for today but wow. Seems like yesterday yet 100 years ago!! Love my kids —


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