I just wish I had time to write out all the things that go through my head. I just go and go and really never have a down time. If I do take a down time, something else suffers, like my sleep time, or my pile of dishes, or my daughter’s homework.
I’m not depressed, but I’m unfocused and also eating compulsively, and I’m sure it’s from the stress. The kids are exhausting me. They’re wonderful – I LOVE THEM! And I’m happy I’m a mom – I always wanted to be one. BUt I thought being home I’d have ALL THIS TIME and could do all I wanted to do with them and the house, and have me time too….
As usual I have to go…
I think the hardest though is Chris is having these fits again where he marches through the houses screaming and starts at the height of it grabbing my arms or hitting me, making scratches as he does it. He’s hitting the aide too and I’m afraid she’s going to quit — I need her!!! She’s helping us 14 hours a week but it’s just through Medicaid – I know it’s not the highest paying job in the world for her!
I’m worried about Ryan some as he’s SO hyper, and when he jumps on us in the morning (4:45, this morning) he seems to have no regard as to where his head goes on the bed and I’m scared he’s going to bash his head in! He has spells where he’s this hyper. He crashed his head into the side of his crib a few weeks ago and got a split, bleeding lip. We almost put him in the ER! I need to set up a bed for him instead as he’s learned also how to put his leg over the side.
I’m thinking of trying again to put everyone (we all have ADD, I think – 3 of us are diagnosed) on a sugar-free diet again (with the help of Splenda and Diet rite pop!) to see if we can calm this behavior down.
2 thoughts on “Exhausted”
Big Hugs:) I am sorry you are having such a rough time right now. If I am right I believe your oldest is a 12 year old boy? Adolescents the thing nightmares are made of. My ADHD Bipolar son will be 15 this year.His behavior is much better now BUT we have a whole new can of worms. Can’t help but love them to pieces though. Do they have them on any meds? Seroquel did wonders for mine. He takes 72mg concerts 100mg lamictal & 400mgseroquel a day (he is almost 5foot8 and weighs 195 lbs)
It has really helped him
Thanks for writing. He is actually 14! Our boys are the same age almost. He will be 15 in November, – how about yours? He is on Geodon (120 mgs a day) and Cogentin. It is really the best he’s been in years — I have to remember how horrible it used to be and keep that in perspective but sometimes it’s hard! He used to never sleep – when he was admitted last summer for psych med reevaluation he hadn’t slept in 4 days and had bruises all over his body from beating himself AND had a med reaction (we assume) from the tenex and remeron he was on as he was head to toe in a rash that was itching/bleeding (yes, it was very bad in July!!!!)
Now he sleeps every night from 10:30-6 or so thank God! and the worst are these hitting fits that go 3-4 days straight like 2x a day and then level off again. We don’t know what it is…. He is about 145 pounds and about 5’7.
We do think he may be bipolar and possibly schizophrenic too as well as autistic — these meds hit all those things, they say…
Thanks, dear —