thoughts on juggling…

Had another interesting session with my now weekly doc I’m seeing re: My ADD. He’s doing IQ tests with me. The math word problems were very hard for me! He said that I did way above average on them but that it took me excessively longer than normal to perform the calculations. And he said this was very normal for an ADD person. I will continue the testing next time. I also had been told (don’t think I posted this?) that I have a problem in my working memory, that showed upon the IQ tests, that I have a good short term memory except for the part that involves organization and working with what I’ve learned. Thus, the problem I have with organization and multi-tasking. It’s amazing how these tests can show all that!!

So, we talked about the book I wrote in high school, that I want to complete but was flabbergasted that I haven’t worked on since 1996! We talked about all the irons I have had in the fire, and always have had in the fire. My nick in high school (my initials then were D.E.) was Doing Everything, in the class nickname list. They should have added, doing everything but not getting any of them done!!!

So, when I try to juggle all these balls I can’t control them and they come crashing down. That’s what happened, when I lost my job and lost control of my home organization, etc. So now I’m learning to juggle from scratch. One ball, then maybe two. Not twelve.

He was proud of me that I’m on a daily cleaning schedule now, and that I’m not adding 100 new things to my list. I would like to pick something eventually to add — my book, or extra guitar practice, or something. But right now I’m not sure what!!!

Well, off for that cleaning schedule (did half my household tasks today).

dori

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Forgot to post

that I was diagnosed with ADD on Saturday. My testing is not all completely done, but I’ve seen the psYchologist 4 times and he said last weekend that he thinks he knows enough about me and with the testing we’ve done that I have it. I thought I did. It’s amazing how it passes in generations, and years ago no one even knew what it was (unless it was a little boy, hyper as you could imagine, having trouble in school). I was a very good student, I’m pretty smart (not to brag), and I’m really creative, and not at all hyper. I actually concentrate very very well. But as I’ve read about it, I’ve learned I have ADD and not ADHD, and that I hyperfocus, concentrate so hard on things that I block everything else out. Over the years I have had great trouble balancing all my duties, and deciding what to do first, to balance my life. I am not working now, and don’t think, as a parent of three (two special needs) that I will be able to balance a work life and home life and do either one well. So this diagnosis just reinforces that.

I will write more later — gotta go.

dori

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