autism, children, deafness, life, NaBloPoMo

The dreams of children

 

The dreams that we hold about having our children… and the reality given and the new dreams held

Dreams of all my life
The children we always wished for
Years go by like lightning
But the expectations soar

Wanting perfection
Working day and night for our bread
Trying to observe each smile,
accomplishment, and word said

When the progression is difficult
than the way you thought
it can be easy to despair;
when the child doesn’t speak, you doubt

The deafness and the silence, and even times with speech,
yet centered in their self fulfillment,
yet merged with our duty and responsibility
can make you wonder where meaning went

Others don’t understand
the way our lives progress
only in humor can we survive
The surroundings can appear a mess

and the heart, indeed, can be torn
as the love is strong as fire
burning in fierce protection
knows how their odds are dire

Chasing a boy, so active and bright,
running in glee
before he breaks the dishes
and plugs cords into electricity

The older child, a man,
yet speechless he is
locked in his world, caught,
yet we glory at each new task taught

We watch for each new joy
yet fight for rights unknown
the road is full of mire
but the Light of God is shown

copyright criscollrj.com dori 11/24/07

 

autism, life

bath bubble burst…

Chris has been staying up until 2-3-4-5 a.m. the last week. He always ends up falling asleep lately and gets up then about 10 (I have to force him up) – sometimes he sleeps until 11. I try earlier but it’s impossible.

So last night I wanted to take a bath, was trying to wait for him to go to sleep. He was still up at 3 so I gave up and went to sleep. Had aches and pains so had trouble going to sleep until 3:30 or so.

So TONIGHT was the night. I was definitely taking a bath (I haven’t had a chance to take one since May when all the kids were in school). At 10:30 I locked myself in the bathroom and ran the water all the way up. I heard Chris at the door but figured he’d just stand there like he always does when I just take a quick shower. Mind you, he can’t hear, so he wouldn’t know the water is on. And he’s never broke in before.

So I get in for ONE MINUTE. He UNLOCKS the door. He’s never done that before. Now RYAN has, which is why I never shower when he’s up (and he’s usually up at 6 so you can imagine how hard it is for me to shower when I maybe have this window from maybe 10 at night – well, now that Chris is opening the door, I don’t know WHEN I’ll shower, either.

I tried to hide thinking he wouldn’t see me (dark shower curtain) but I left the BUBBLE BATH out. So he’s grabbed the bottle, getting ready to get in, so I had to get out. I’m trying to push him out of the room, getter madder and madder (he is down from 230 down to 188 with his med change, but he’s still got me by 11 pounds). But I couldn’t win. I did grab my still pretty full bottle of bubbles and hid them in the bedroom.

So, no bath, and couldn’t even rinse the bubble bath off. I feel worse now. Sweaty and not rinsed. Blach. My plantar fascaiitis [sp] on my foot is acting up – I wanted to soak it for a while. Couldn’t do that either…

I’m just going to go to bed – he’s happily enjoying my raspberry creme bubble bath. I need a good night sleep – please pray he just goes to sleep on his own and doesn’t bother me….. 4 1/2 hours sleep last night wasn’t enough (I was very lucky Ryan slept until 8).

grump over.

 

autism, autism Ryan, children, deafness, health

Appts.—

Ryan had some new appts. this week. These are copied from a post I did about them – the first one is yesterday:

“Don’t know if I ever mentioned but we had a long-awaited genetics appointment today. At first, I was going to be tested for connexion 26 (an inherited hearing disorder – my dad had hearing impairment, I do, my boys do, and so does my cousin and possibly her brother). I never got the test because our insurance expired [our kids all still have insurance through Healthy Start].

Anyway, when I called about the test, to try and get it in before the insurance expired in May, they asked me more about our history, and after hearing about the boys and their autism spectrum, etc., they decided to instead test Ryan first. So we brought him in today.

He had a hard time being patient but did do some nice artwork on the board with markers!! We were able to give the dr. & assistant all our history, etc. He was supposed to have a preliminary blood test today but then he got so upset and was screaming in his stroller, so we put that part off for Monday. We were there about 1 1/2 to 2 hours already by that point.

There are more complicated tests, now, I guess, for ASD’s and other disorders, where they test different chromosomes and stuff. There may even be some syndromes that involve autism and deafness. So Tuesday we’re going back and Ryan is going to have blood test (s?) and we’ll see what they find out. [poor baby!] This will also tell us probably if my hearing loss is genetic.

They seem very interested in finding out what caused all these things to happen in our children. They also seem very knowledgeable and professional.

Eventually Chris will be tested too – he’ll have to be put to sleep for it.

Everyone knows us there too — we’re famous at the Cleveland City hospital systems…..

But it was a tiring day. It’s also emotional to think of everything that’s happened. It’s all for a reason, but it’s hard to go through it all–explaining how Chris lost his words twice, how we didn’t know he was deaf until he was 14, how Ryan’s developed mild symptoms (which breaks my heart over again) and even Colleen’s struggles with concentration.

Then we were going over all of Chris’s digestive problems he had as a young boy, and his weight gains and losses, and all the ups and downs of his health, and his skin infections etc (a lot of this is detailed early on in my blog).

I’ll keep you up to date as we get results…”

Then today:

“Today was Ryan’s appt. with behavioral center. He was assessed and we were told that they WOULD find someone to come help us at home with him some, but that they couldn’t promise they could find someone that really specializes with spectrum disorder. This lady (nurse/counselor) also suggested that perhaps we pursue something like risperdol for him. Chris was on risperdol for years – it actually did wonders for him – but I just wasn’t ready to accept that Ryan actually needed anything like that. But, maybe he does… we do have TONS of behavior problems with him, and —-“

 

autism, sleep, surveys

surveys and too tired to say much else

Ahhh, another work break. I had had one briefly before then worked another week. Now I’ve been off since Thurs. morning and am only working Tues/Thurs. morning this week.

The kids are doing okay – Colleen had a book report due this weekend and she DID do it though I don’t think she completely finished it, OR the book. She was supposed to review math equations with me but unfortunately I feel asleep on the couch with Ryan downstairs so kinda missed my chance. She was very busy this weekend and tired out with a water safety course she’s taking that will go into the summer. I think it’s important for her to have some rewarding summer activities but I wish they wouldn’t start the major portion of the training during the SCHOOL year- GRUMP!!

Ryan is making a lot of gains – he writes his name! – but I am so tired of cleaning up where he can’t get to the bathroom. He IS pee trained Thank Goodness! It’s just I’m so tired of finding poop on the wall or on the floor. I got up this morning half asleep and went to the couch to get my glasses and stepped in it YUCK! We keep telling him where the poop goes but he is not listening. I know it will happen – the pee training happened- but this is just getting gross.

Chris is staying up all night more often for some reason – I think it’s spring allergies. He did the same thing last spring. he’s totally switched over to Abilify now from Geodon and seems okay with it. He’s just very congested. He is still taking Loratadine (generic Claritin) and sometimes I give him Sudafed in the morning.

It is hard for us to bear all these things lately; Chris dumped ANOTHER bottle of dish soap down the shower drain. We buy 2-3 bottles a week because he finds them all the time where we hide them. He dumped all my shampoo last night when he stayed up all night. We hope he sleeps tonight -I am very tired and would probably be asleep on the desk right now if it weren’t for my falling asleep downstairs for about 20 minutes a while ago.

On to some surveys, then a web site I am making for someone that I want to finish by tomorrow 🙂

Surveys from Angela/Heather

autism, chris, life

The fries got Chris off the merry-go-round —

Boy, have I had a time posting here today! I think I have some goofball firewall problems.

Anyway – Quite a night we had with Chris tonight. We were going to our usual chiropractor appointment, and for this appt. there was a festival going on across the street.

We had gone there before during this festival with no problem!

Chris took off out of the car like a lightning bolt. SEE FRIES PIC Continue reading “The fries got Chris off the merry-go-round —”

autism, medications

I remember when it was always like this—

yawn. Chris has switched meds from Geodon to Abilify, and is not sleeping as well.

I should have been keeping an official log, but really haven’t. BUT — today is early Sunday morning. LAST Monday night, about 6 days ago, was the last night he had his Geodon med. But for some reason he stayed up all that night even though he had the Geodon. So the next night, the first night without the Geodon, he did sleep. Continue reading “I remember when it was always like this—”