chris – Page 2 – Living & Loving, Autism & Deafness

18 years ago —

May 26, 2012 criscollrj

With Colleen’s birthday coming up on Tuesday I felt like posting some publishable parts of my old diary, from 5-12-94. Hard to believe it’s been 18 years.

Work told me I’m definitely getting my three-week vacation pay, three-week sick leave, and they want me to do tapes at home. I also may be able to go in and work some mornings and my mom may be able to watch kids on Fridays if I need to work.

First things first, I’m 2 cm. dilated (as of last Friday) and am working only one more week. I’m ready to enjoy this summer off with my children. It will be beautiful. I know I will be tired and frustrated sometimes, with a new baby, more work, less sleep, Chris’s reaction, Chris’s speech delay, worry over finances. Financially we are pretty secure right now but I only have eight more weeks of pay coming. Continue reading “18 years ago —” →

autism, chris, God

More than we can bear? God bears it with us.

November 23, 2011 criscollrj

Woke up early this morning and was reading an older journal – and found these older posts from November 1994 and January 1995.

November 19, 1994

Tomorrow is Christopher’s birthday. 4 years old! He’s got a double ear infection but is now getting better. He’s been sleeping in the daytime and stays up until 12 or 1 a.m. or gets up at 6:30! I have laryngitis and can’t speak at all! Hopefully we’ll feel better by Thanksgiving – in five days. That’s when we’re celebrating Chris’s birthday.

Dr. X wants to have Chris evaluated for autism. Hopefully it will be ruled out. He’s really a sweet little boy. We’re praying for him daily. I know God can perform a miracle.

November 20, 1994

It really hurts sometimes when we worry that something if really wrong, that our son can’t speak. Also that he’s often seeming not to understand us, although when it’s something he really wants to do he understands perfectly (bath). I’m worried we’re focusing on things that may just be nervous habits – grimacing, playing with his fingers (itzy bitsy spider?), looking at bowls and pop bottles.

He snuggles, smiles, figures things out (like loading dishwasher), being affectionate to baby Colleen. We do have the promise that God will not give us more than we can bear.¹ It seems we’ve had enough trials this past 18 months to last a lifetime. But there have been blessings among the trials.

February 6, 1995

I’m so happy being home with my children. These years will go too fast. Chris is 4 1/4, almost. He’s stretched out so tall and now seems to be getting a little chubby to make up for it. his sandy brown hair forms bangs to his light eyebrows, and in straight thickness just reaches his collar. his chocolate brown eyes are framed with long eyelashes. He snuggles with us a lot. Especially while I’m nursing Colleen, Chris climbs up on my lap, on the other side of Colleen, and cuddles up to my shoulder. At these times I thank the Lord for this time.

Christopher is mildly autistic. He was tested January 24, and the doctor confirmed our suspicions. Continue reading “More than we can bear? God bears it with us.” →

autism Ryan, chris, college

Teaching Enjoyment

October 11, 2011 criscollrj

Ahh, so many ways to look at that. I thought of that title the other day while trying to help Chris with some things. And as my mind will play with words I realized there were two ways to look at that.

The first way is how when trying to plan events with Chris, I just wish he would show clearly that he enjoys them. I wish there was a way to look at Chris and say, wow, he really loves this activity!! We took him and Ryan to a Fall Festival, which was wonderful!

And as we were attending the event, which was a pumpkin patch, food, guitar playing, animals and a corn maze, we could not get Chris to stop and look at anything. He did stop and eat a hot dog. He seemed happy, and he really did seem to like the corn maze. I just wish we could learn how to get him to stop and look at things, the way Ryan does at this point. We will keep striving.

And is there a way to teach enjoyment of things to Chris and other children/adults with autism? Why for example do we have trouble with this with Chris, but not with Ryan, when they both have autism? Ryan, however, is much worse with hitting randomly, throwing things, and running off. A different problem, but still a problem. Autism spectrum is a mystery to me still . . .

So then of course the other side of the coin is teaching enjoyment as in the enjoyment of teaching. I was thinking about that as well as I was trying to think of how to teach our Chris and Ryan. I do enjoy teaching, though I never wanted to do it in the traditional sense of a regular school teacher. I now surprisingly find myself going in the teaching field as a special education teacher, which I never expected. I do feel God has led me into this journey to get my teaching license, perhaps to help me learn to enjoy teaching more? To help me become skilled at it? I thank Him for the opportunity which has come unexpectedly, and can’t wait to see what He has in store for me through it, both with the boys and with the world and my career.

chris, colleen, college, Ryan

Senior year for 3 of us!!

August 22, 2011 criscollrj

RJ is in the 4th grade now and starts Wed. in his autism class, with a new teacher for the 4th and 5th grades. Hard to believe I have an older elementary school student now! Will get pictures of all three kids and post soon.

Colleen is a senior! All the festivities that go along with it we will be discovering – I know we need to get senior pics, and order her senior yearbook, and she’s talking about getting her class ring. Then of course graduation, and the resultant party, and filling out a FAFSA for her this year, and visiting colleges. Some sort of graphic arts is her plan as we all expected.

Chris is also a senior in a sense – he is going to be 21 this November and is in his last full year of school. We want to also get senior pics for him, and whatever yearbook they may have. He is changing schools and is going to be in a workshop program that should lead to an excellent adult workshop for the years after this where he does not have regular school anymore. This school also has, I believe, a Homecoming and a Prom! He has never done these things before so we are so excited. He will also have gym and swimming. He has not attended this school since 2nd grade so it is a sort of homegoing for him – he has had several different schools through his lifetime, all with different focuses, pros, and cons.

Then me, I am classified as a senior at this point, strangely enough. it is also listed that I am in “pre” speech therapy, so oddly enough as a senior they still have me pegged into a “pre” associates degree area, where I actually already have an associate degree. This will change, however, after I maintain a 2.5 or above GPA for a while, and then I will be solidly listed as a speech therapy major. I did get a 3.4 from the summer classes so I am at a good start – need to get up to 3.7 or 3.8 by 2 years from now so I can get into the Master’s program. Classes – clinical phonetics, English grammar (online) and hearing science (don’t have the book yet). I start back next Monday. To drive to Kent two days a week. Good thing I love a good country drive – should be fun in the winter (ha!)

autism, chris, sleep

Overnights —

June 19, 2011 criscollrj

Actually took this picture at dusk in December, but it was a neat example of darkness outside and how I captured it with my new camera at the time.

But overnight, such a peaceful time. You want everything dark, and quiet, and to sleep solidly and restfully. And you want that comfort and peace and routine for your children.

I don’t understand why many children with autism cannot sleep at night. Chris is up now, it is 2:45 a.m. We thought he would be up – he has this weird giggle that starts about 5 or 6 p.m. on nights that he won’t sleep, and strangely enough, like the beginning before they say “Wipeout” in that famous song. Whenever he makes that giggle Rog and I look at each other and usually say, “Wipeout,” and then say, or think, “Up all night.”

I am glad when he stays up all night at our house, as that means the next night when he’s at Rog’s mom’s and dad’s, back with him staying there too, with him, he should sleep. We all need to share the care. I just wish I knew why he doesn’t sleep. We have tried about 20 different medicines, many of which make all people sleep all of the time, seemingly. But not Chris. He is on melatonin but it doesn’t so anything – – – Clonidine worked for 6 years but wore off – we tried it again but it didn’t work. Geodon worked for about 3 years, then wore off. Those were the only two meds that ever worked.

http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/helping-your-child-with-autism-get-a-good-nights-sleep?page=2 may help some individuals who can’t sleep with autism. Hmm. I hadn’t heard of the ending item, bright-light therapy. Maybe something to bring up as another treatment?

birthdays, chris, colleen, speech delay

17 years ago – Colleen’s birth

May 30, 2011 criscollrj

Yes, another birthday today! Amazing how fast it all goes.

Was just reviewing some entries from my journal from back then – actually 5-12-94:

“First things first, I’m 2 cm dilated (as of last Friday) and am working only one more week. I’m ready to enjoy this summer off with my children. It will be beautiful. I know I will be tired and frustrated sometimes, with a new baby, more work, less sleep, Chris’s reaction, Chris’s speech delay, worry over finances. Financially we are feeling pretty secure right now, but I have only eight more weeks of pay coming. We must be very careful. We’ve not charged anything since February/March except for my car repair.

“We are praying earnestly for Chris’s speech. He still adds another word (some of past, some new) every one to two weeks. But it’s trying how slow it goes. He said “baby” at school yesterday, but didn’t say anything today. I will list in a little while all his words as of now. Praise God for them! In January he had none. Here are his words:

“January – present, 35 words: Bye-bye, hi, waffle, see ya later, all done, night night, no, juice, come here, Ma Ma, Pa Pa, Mommy, Daddy, Baby, Bear, Big Bird, lay down, sit down, ears, nose, shoes, socks, binky, hot, cold, yogurt, ice cream, truck, up, binky night-night, car seat, thank you, cracker, horn, beep beep,

“Plus, one time he said to mama, “Now, where did they go?” Now we ache to hear him speak several words daily, and to answer questions, and ask for things by name. The words now are random and to himself, not as a real conversation with us. We are grateful for the words, but pray for their increased purposeful use, and frequency. Sometimes, especially when Chris has been quiet a lot and/or throwing things (today). I cry for a while, a fear comes over me that he will never speak and communicate normally. It is a scary feeling. . . . I have to face these fears, cry over them, then put them at Jesus’ feet and leave them there. If this is what is willed by God (permanent disability) we must face it day by day through prayer anyway, so we will do that through this period of not knowing.

“Chris will be attending preschool for two more weeks, then we’ll be off for two weeks (with me and baby!) then will attend a Friday preschool for six weeks, then a gross motor movement class two days a week for four weeks mid-July –> August. This will be good for him – still a “summer break” from going four days a week, but something to keep him learning and occupied one to two days a week for a few hours (and give me a nap period!)

“The Lord really had worked some miracles – he is great and holy and is taking care of us, and we have a beautiful family: a beautiful loving son Chris and a coming treasure of a baby (boy? girl?) and a wonderful husband (who I wish I could see more).

“I need to get this house organized and check over budget tonight and it’s 7:30! I also need to make dinner! I just spent the evening playing with my Chris and writing in here. Chris and I played color matching, play dough (creepy bugs game!) and snuggled. After dinner I will get him in bed 8:30 – 9:00 and start straightening.

“I dream of getting this house beautiful and organized! Will take years. Yard too! Gotta make dinner. The next time I write there will be probably ‘a waah! a waah!’”

So similar, yet so different – 17 years ago!

chris, colleen, college, health, Ryan

Transition to spring —

April 8, 2011 criscollrj

The Snowmen — they are ready to go to the attic, all condensed and ready for their box as soon as I get it packed (Monday?) Still have two lone snowmen decs on the mantle where half of them were before —

conversation – (“NOT CHRISTMAS, MOM!” lol – she put the Christmas bow with them – “that’s not right,” as Ryan would say). Have to keep emphasizing that Christmas is the red, green, etc., and WINTER is white and blue and can stay up into March!

Bought these awesome bunny baskets – 3 of them for 3 kids – at Gabriel Bros. ($2 each!) Also bought the bunny hanger – loved it!! The hyacinth (I think that’s right) was from Ryan’s spring concert – think I can finally put it outside if it’s not going to freeze again? Also want to buy some daffodils and tulips in pots, to plant later in the fall.

Roger had his surgery on Monday, and after a brief struggle with temp and not feeling well from some infection he is finally feeling better today and is eating!! So hopefully he’ll be home in a few days. A new beginning to a new part of our lives in many ways – Roger with his body hopefully fully healed now from all the troubles he had from his gall bladder (this was related to that, from last year), and Ryan and Chris both adding new skills to their getting independent and ready to fly to what they will become, and Colleen getting ready to be a senior next year, with college decisions to make – wow. And then me, on to Kent State in August – to take my first two speech therapy classes, phonetics and hearing science. Another time of change.

chris, health, residency, work

Guilty again!

March 16, 2011 criscollrj

Yes, I’m guilty again, of not posting because:

I don’t have time.
I don’t have anything new to say.
What I’m interested in saying really won’t interest anyone.

That is really ridiculous, though, as even if no one else reads this, I read it. I do go back and look at these from time to time, and to see something that makes us smile, or brings a memory, or even makes us cry a little is worth sharing. Even for ourselves.

So, what have I been busy with? Well, school until last Friday (Now on spring break, working out of town with Rog) was very challenging (math!) and kept me busy nonstop. I was also working some at the same time. During the week break I am on now from that, as you can see by the pictures, we had a snowstorm, and I went on a trip to gather geographic information on Ireland (the obviously Irish pictures) and now we are on our trip out of town for work, and met our friends for dinner last night.

So I go back Monday, and need to spend double the time on math, as my grade is not so hot right now. I still have two months to bring it up. I will be also sending my computer back to Asus for some repairs before the warranty expires, meaning that I will be using Ryan’s computer for the necessities, but won’t be working during that time as I don’t have Windows on that computer, just Linux giving the availability of Internet for bill paying, etc., and open office if I need it. So I should get more math studied and completed with the addition of transcription projects not being an option. I don’t know how long the computer repairs will take, as I have never done this before!

Roger’s surgery is now pending most likely at the end of this month, where after almost a year’s wait he will finally have a cyst and hernia removed (they were hoping it would all shrink on its own with time, but it has not). Roger is probably about 95 pound lighter than he was in February 2010 when he went into the hospital with his gall bladder and related problems, and looks so nice! I think he’s passing me up with his weight loss <3. Prayers for him are appreciated.

Still looking for the proper residency for Chris – this is all taking so long it’s driving me crazy. He’s going to finish off the school year staying with his “mama” and “papa,” and then we’ll see if he’ll come home to our house as he still awaits his residency or I/O waiver caretaking arrangements, or what we’re going to do. He’s a sweetie. He stays at our house every weekend, sometimes sleeps, sometimes doesn’t, and still loves to laugh!

To end, I wish everyone a Happy St. Patrick’s day, and in memory of that: https://criscollrj.com/2010/03/17/miracles/. We will have our corned beef and cabbage dinner this weekend, as we will be out of town. I can’t wait! And a big thank you to our parents that are keeping up the ship at home while we are gone.

autism, chris, colleen, college, residency, Ryan, transcription

Seems fitting to attend a great barbecue the week before school!

August 16, 2010 criscollrj

Sometimes it’s challenging to get through the summer easily trying to keep two rambunctious boys happy and safe in the heat. But all in all I think we all accomplished this this summer. We have worked as a team – Chris stays at his paternal grandparents’ still (while we await, seek, and research the appropriate placement) and Roger stays over there a lot to watch him. Chris is very astute and is trying his best to learn the ways of unlocking doors so he can get some freedom outside. However, their safety (Ryan will escape and run off as well) is our highest concern so we do have some fancy key locks on the doors at both houses. So it is up to us to get them out as much as we can for their activities and exercise.

So all and all we were pleased with their summer programs – next year I would like to get Ryan to Chris’s camp even more days – we got a grant this year for him to go 6 days but if we can get three grants then next summer he can go 18. Chris went all summer from June 22 or so until this coming Friday the 20th. This is where they met for camp – we started taking Ryan there a bit a few days this summer:

It was very nice and also had a wood path. The boys would walk with their class in the morning on the wood path. Then by afternoon they’d usually visited another place and ended up swimming in a big pool across the county. Really nice program.

Colleen stayed busy with different friends, often attending anime events and swimming.

Rog and I worked, and went out of town for business in June. We’re going again the first week after school starts. I also made it through computer class and Algebra 850 – intro to algebra. I just finished that about 2 week ago and was happy to have passed (it was hard!). On a break now, working on some transcription but not tons and going to be trying to get the house in shape before work and school again (school starts week of August 30 for me – biology and intermediate Algebra). Speech therapy and certification in autism and deafness is still the goal, Kent State.

Working with Congress at this point with several liaisons to try to find away to get Chris into the program at NDA. We sure hope and pray it works.

(2020, as I said before, program was closed in 2014 for abuse. Sad.) Watch the video about NDA’s autism/deafness program. (2020 no site) I just feel so excited that this could be the right program for Chris. (nope)

birthdays, chris, colleen, college, photos, Ryan

birthdays with business as usual.

June 2, 2010 criscollrj

16th birthday party is all done and in the books. I think Colleen and her friends had a good time. I worked on and off the whole time, and we had a busy weekend with also taking Chris to the park with Ryan and Rog too. Rog is feeling a lot better.

I actually still need to send the one blog post still on to the Congresspeople about how there really needs to be way more help in Ohio for individuals with disabilities needing medication adjusting. More posts, prayers, calls, and arrangements are still needed. But thankfully Chris is doing better at this point and we really enjoyed our time at the park with him this weekend!

I have been excited to find Windows Live Photo Gallery and with it Live Space, and plan to gradually get all my photos on there. So going to work on that on and off. Also, long story about how financial aid was messed up for me this summer deleted but short story is that I should be back in my class by tomorrow and have lots of homework to do! busy!