I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Ps. 37:25

Ryan the rebel   2 comments

User: dori

Comments: Ryan’s been kicked out of day care. I’m kinda devastated about it. He can try this other day care at the multi-handicapped school that the owner also runs – she is recommending it and will waive half the fee (since that center is not ELI (Early Learning Initiative) it is not free), but it’s just the principal of the thing – my son is not able to fit into a typical classroom. It’s just the whole future outlook – special classes, again, what about kindergarten, what about elementary school – are we in for it again, MRDD, autism class, what is going to happen here – I just am grieving, I guess. I cried all the way home from picking him up – I just feel I’ve lost something. Why can’t I have had just one child that is totally typical?

But, he is going to get this case study therapy in our home starting last month. That is a blessing. And he he has his special needs preschool he’s been in 1 1/2 years – that starts next week.

Just needed to share – more later. d —- I know I have posts to answer and posts to read as well, but right now I’m burying my grief in a Taco Bell Chalupa meal.

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Time: Tuesday, 8/29/2006 11:40:50 AM (#83634)
User: dori

Comments: You know what else gets me about this – I really walked into this with my eyes wide open. I planned to have Ryan. I knew Chris was autistic. I knew Colleen had special needs. I didn’t get the genetic testing because I knew autism wasn’t able to be found through that. I was told it was a 5% chance by our doctors and the internet that we’d have another autistic child. I kept saying there’s a 95% chance he’ll be okay. Maybe those odds were too great to chance. I don’t know. He’s not officially diagnosed yet with autism, but the neuro is looking at it as I told you, PDD. 5% chance — I just wonder if that is really correct.

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Posted August 29, 2006 by criscollrj in autism Ryan

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2 responses to Ryan the rebel

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  1. I’m so sorry this is happening. I can’t imagine how you get through your days with as much sanity as you have when I know how difficult Colin is, and he (thankfully) is a relatively “normal” kid. You love your kids, even if they may irritate you or make you sad, and everything else kids do. I truly cannot understand how difficult it must be for you and your family. You have children with special needs. Kids are hard enough. Your kids love you, and you have done so much for them, but you are entitled to these moments. You wouldn’t be human, or even a mom, without them. Try not to feel like you have made mistakes or done things you shouldn’t have. There are some parents that I think deserve medals, and you’re one of them. I hope things get better for you.

    • Thank you so much for this reply. I appreciated it so much at the time but am terrible at answering comments. You are right about the love for our kids. This morning I started crying when I woke up because I was awoken (is that a word?) by both my boys at 4:30 a.m. WAH! I’m just tired. Ryan may be put into a special school for autism next year, if he’s diagnosed. That makes me sad, but at the same time like I would be relieved as he’s so exhausting and that way he’d be in school with trained professionals 8 hours a day. Right now he’s just gone 3 hours 4 days a week.

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